Evie: I know, no shit Sherlock, right? Written back in February 2014. Also no explanation for the lack of posting yesterday. Just… Well I forgot…
I seriously find myself at times wondering why it is that I continue to interact with humans. Not too long ago, there were a few casual acquaintances that had found out some of my past experiences.
… Apparently according their “idea of society” I should be a lot more bitter, a femnazi (read femnasty) and a whole bunch of other stuff.
Really? You think just because I’m a rape and abuse survivor that I should be bitter?
I am bitter. However I also made the choice to those occurrences direct me into become a stronger woman. Which means not holding on them as best as I can manage. Means not letting someone tell me how I should be reacting to the event as the other person is 8 times out of 10, full of shit.
Yeah, I have some pretty nasty scars and wounds that are taking forever to heal it seems like. I have things happening every day that cause me to pause and seriously break down the thing in question trying to figure what it has to do with anything that involves me.
Is there information in what I’m finding my attention drawn to that is crucial?
Is it of any value?
Does it trigger the eye roll response or do the pieces fit into older lesson puzzles that life has thrown at me?
More often than, I end up shedding what is of no value to me personally and many times passing it on to folks who may indeed find it of value. There have also been a lot of people I’ve had to shed too. Toxic jerks who have an inkling about a few things which leads them to think they’re are experts on everything. Toxic people do teach you…. they teach you your limits.
Let’s face it, you should be learning constantly and having breakthroughs on even tiny things frequently.
Breakthroughs tend to trigger an interesting response from the Universe.
You end up finding yourself looking up at her as she leans over and bops you gently on the nose.
“Took you long enough goober. Now, brace yourself because it’s about to get rough. It’s going to hurt but you are going to be a better person for it in the end, because all that bullshit you’ve allowed yourself to be programmed with is going to be purged. You are going to be better for it, despite it. It’s going to be worth it.