Shared Laundry Room Etiquette

Number 1 rule – Don’t let your clothing over stay its welcome.  Ten minutes is okay but that’s the bloody max.  Washers take less time and when there’s double the number of dryers you’ve nothing to wait on.  Dryer times… okay seriously, how the hell could anyone be okay with pulling cold dry laundry out?

Number 2 – Pour the bleach you are using into it’s cup OVER THE OPEN WASHER not over the fucking lid of the neighboring machine. Seriously do you know how many times other peoples clothing will be touching that lid you just dripped or spilled on?

Number 3 – Collect. Your. Fucking. Lint. Seriously.  I don’t need to find how how many blunts you smoke in a weed…or how many condoms you went through…or how you got fired from your job because you’re a lazy fuck.

Number 4 – Clean out your pockets AT HOME. It’s not funny, it’s not witty and all you’re doing is being gross.

Number 5 – Always run a hand along the bottom of the washer so ask to be sure you’ve grabbed everything.  Including your security pass, security ID and the 50 tip someone gave you two weeks ago that you forgot had a blunt rolled up into as well. (Good luck whoever decided that was worth taking by the way.)

Number 6 – Repeat number 5 for the dryer.  Stick your hand in it and double check. Yes I know it’s warm but you’ve a better chance burning yourself on the buttons on your jeans than on the inside of the dryer.  I’ve ended up with two pairs of socks that weren’t ours, two black lacy panties, one bra that DEFINITELY was not my size and nine random socks that even though I’ve left out on the folding shelf haven’t yet been claimed.

Number 7 –  If you smoke so damn much that the laundry room reeks of you, your laundry reeks, it makes the washer machine reek AND the dryers… you are fucking disgusting and have no room to bitch when told so.  Because that shit comes off on my clothes.  Seriously even the office person who smokes gagged when she walked into the room.

Number 8 – if there is an open dryer, it is perfectly o fucking k to throw laundry from a washer if the ten minute mark has passed.  You don’t have to start it, but you’ll make the point.

This has been a public service announcement.