Lessons in a hard reality.

I have to give credit to that bullet journal system again.

I know you’re probably tired of hearing about it.  Tough.

So, one of the things that I’ve been working on with is monitoring the internal feelings and working on trying to come up with a color guide I can use to make notes on where and when things get worse.  It means keeping an eye on things like my period because hormones are a bitch.

It also meant realizing that I wasn’t eating like I should.  There were some days I wasn’t eating anything. Even now after adding to each day a check mark for eating at least twice, I still have the bad habit of not eating withing a couple hours of getting up.  I’m on a third shift schedule and “morning” for me is anywhere from 1pm to 3pm depending on how fast I manage to get to sleep.  Some days… I don’t eat until way after sundown.  Yeah, the math that just popped into your head on how many hours that is, is a few times a week.

I don’t like noticing patterns like this as it means it’s something that’s been going on for awhile. Thirty days isn’t a pattern.  Sixty and ninety days can be indicators. It’s when you hit more than a hundred days that you’ve either broken a bad habit or noticed a bad pattern that needs closely monitoring.

Part of what makes the eating meals a bit easier these days is making enough as though DR was going to be home and then putting it into the fridge for him for later. Hilariously enough I am a slightly social eater but the dogs don’t count.

Back to the color guide, there are a lot of creative people out there who have come up with tracking methods and the like. I haven’t found one from anyone that’s really clicked yet for me. So I’ve been working coming up with one of my own that is more based on what color pen I use to write that day than coloring in a box.  It’s sort of working… though considering we have a move coming inside of six months… the journal is gonna be messy again after I did a crapp ton of work figuring out what might work in helping me keep on top of things.

Then we have the internal stuff that bogs me down that I have no idea what the right word for it is. A few days ago even, I had been horribly stalled out almost all month on the projects I need to finish. I turned on my computer game and boom, three things caught up to a point that they should have been at two weeks. I need to pull some more games into my day.  I know that doesn’t make sense, but having games like Wizard 101 which have parts where you are just clicking around with your mouse give me a chance to game and play puzzles while creating.