Dealing with prolonged absence

Normally the folks who deal with this the most are military families. I have a feeling what I’m going to say though, many would agree with.

DR is out on a prolonged case.  I’ve been complimented on how well I seem to be dealing with it.

I’ve been asked how I’m dealing with it.

Simple…

I’m not.  This is called faking it until you make it.  As you make it through the time they’re gone.  It’s harder on the dogs.  They don’t understand where he is or why he’s gone.

It’s one of the reasons why I have as many damn interests as I do.  They are distractions during the absence.  And yes, they are infinitely more enjoyable when he’s around.  Such is life as the wife of a PI.

It doesn’t easier.  Getting used to it does not equal getting easier.  It’s finding things that pass the time. It’s watching TV, crocheting, knitting, sewing, gardening, camping, something anything to pass the time.  It’s forcing yourself to be patient with yourself when you become frustrated because you’ve rolled over in bed for the thousandth time and it a dog or two there, snuggled up to you because they are confused.

It’s reminding yourself that this is a part of the process for building a reputation that will exceed the lifetime of the case or contract and that it will carry over. It’s reminding yourself as you scrub a tub or floor for the tenth time in a week that he’s trying to stay just as busy too.

It’s finishing the two dozen works in progress and staring at your yarn wondering what to do for the next week.  It’s playing with your dogs when the sun goes down until they sploot on the driveway and don’t want to play anymore.

It’s not getting to sleep and staying asleep. It’s grabbing naps at random hours in the day. It’s looking forward to game nights or crochet circles or work because you don’t want to forget what your own voice sounds like.

Handling it?  No dearies, I’m just good at faking it. The time will have passed before I know it and it’ll be over for the time being. However there is always a next time. And after awhile, it doesn’t matter how much one makes on a case. What matters is where your spending time together and how your spending it. Time together becomes the only thing that matters.  Time that increases together as the reputation becomes better and the company starts being able to hire a person or two. Maybe.

Until then…. staying busy, because you’re faking it.

When You’re the Wife of a PI: Holidays are extra special.

**Yeap, managed to get the computer back up and running without hitch again. Only took about oh… four or five hours. That’s the lovely thing about crocheting or knitting, I still get work done while waiting on other tasks to finish.**

This is a work of fiction. All concepts, characters and events portrayed in this series are used fictitiously and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.
Copyright Evelyn Hively, 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without prior written permission of the publisher, nor be circulated in any form of bind or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent publisher.

One reason for this is because you never know actually know if you’re going to be celebrating them each other or if you’re going to be celebrating them alone.  Holidays like Yule give you options on what days you can celebrate that time of the year and if you’re lucky, you get New Year’s together. New Year’s eve….not so much.

When you’re a PI, it’s a good idea to have second jobs. Take Benji’s second job which is as club security.

He had stuck his head around the corner.

“Don’t let me forget to get together a layer of insulator and black tie etc for New Year’s Eve,” he said.

“Huh?” I responded, “Oh… you took a shift at the club? How long will that be for?”

“Yeah, from I think it’s 7ish to 3am ish,” He told me.

“You still off on New Year’s day though?” I asked him.

“Yes I am my lovely Garnet, and are we still on for that hike?”

“DUH!”

He walked back into his office area laughing. New Year’s, Christmas and Thanksgiving were the three main holidays that actually meant enough to the both of us to matter if we were going to be able to do something together, even it was small and silly. For whatever reason this year, we got Yule…and Christmas…and New Year’s day together this year.  I know better than to hope that that will happen again next year.

Some holidays…just don’t exist for us. Valentines Day? HAH! Yeah right, there are other things that say I love you better than over-priced chocolates and flowers that will die in a few days. Like a nice bottle of wine and take out from a Thai place, and sitting at the kitchen table for a couple of hours just talking and sipping wine.

Easter? Not even on the radar. Same with Labor day, Fourth of July, Memorial Day, etc etc. Now things like the Marine Corps birthday are important, our birthdays and our anniversary… but even those are normally celebrated before or after the actual day. That tends to happen a lot because there is no such thing as a set schedule for a PI. Or his wife for that matter. Taking what time we can get and when we can get it just makes the days we do get all that sweeter.

Minus the nasty candy you can get in stores around Christmas time. Blech. I’ll stick to fresh fruit.